Reds year in reveiw.

I was expecting a .500 season from the Reds this year, and they fell a little short. But what was very encouraging was the strong finish in the last month. Normally by this time the Reds would have given up and just not cared, but I think that there are enough guys on this team that are young and hungry so they continued to battle until the end. There were allot of good things that happened this year and some bad, some things to look forward too and some things that need to happen in the off season.

The Good.

1. Bruce, Votto, Dickerson, Cueto, Volquez. All of these guys are rookies that got in allot of valuable playing time. It is nice to see a group of young talent come up and contribute like they did, and it gives hope for next year. My only fear is what happened with the Braves. They bring up the young talent and they do well that year, but then the next two years show their inexperience and their youth against seasoned pitching.


2. Getting rid of Griffey and Dunn. Griffey is old and just didn't care anymore. I saw him run harder and give more effort in two games when he was traded to Chicago than he did in the last two seasons here. Dunn is a riddle wrapped in a mystery. He is a lock for 100 runs, 100 rbi and 40 home runs every year. You would think that would be enough to want to keep him in any lineup, oh yeah he walks allot too. But on the flip side he strikes out 200 + times a year, he is horrible with runners in scoring position, his batting average is frequently below the mendoza line, and his defense, if you can call it that, is like watching a fat kid who is right handed play with a left handed glove in quick sand. So, all the positives that he did actually bring were completely negated by his "other half." It really is like Dunn is two different people, part Captain Caveman, part Chunk from "Goonies."


3. Bronson Arroyo. After a horrible start to the year, he had a great second half to finish the years as the pitcher that I think everyone was expecting to see. After the June 24 batting practice that he gave up to Toronto, giving up 10 earned runs in one inning, he went on kind of a tear going 12-3 to finish off the year. E.R.A. was a little high, but he was an inning eater going 200 innings and had 100 fewer walks than strikeouts.


4. Brandon Phillips. Another strong year for the second basemen that Cleveland threw away. Some of his stats were down, but still a good year. He was 20/20 and his walks were up and strikeouts were down. His fielding percentage was .990 and he only had seven errors, another gold glove year that I am sure will be overlooked. The only glaring issue was the batting average took a huge hit. He went from .288 down to .261, that is a pretty big drop off. No real protection can be part of the blame, maybe we can fix that in free agency?

The Bad.

1. Aaron Harang. Every statistical category took a hit this year. His E.R.A jumped a full point from 3.73 to 4.78, he lost 17 games, he only pitched 184 innings, and had as many walks as he did last year in 50 less innings. I know he was hurt for allot of the year, but even when he was healthy he wasn't right. I am just hoping that he can return to form and have years like 2006 and 2007.


2. The Bullpen. And yes this includes Fransisco Cordero. Lets start with him since he is making the most. Saves were down, E.R.A. was up, walks were up, strikeouts were down, and hits were up. he did finish strong, but was not as consistent as he was last year, and I put him in the bad category because we are paying him 11+ million a year. If I am paying my closer that much I want more for my money. Idea for next year include; Since he is "The Matador," maybe he should come out in the little hat and red cape and do a dance with it after each strikeout, or maybe he can wear a giant Reds sombrero while pitching, I know he is not Mexican, but that would entertain me. Now as far as the rest of the bullpen, they were much worse. In a day in age when pitching wins championships the Reds should start to do their homework. I was looking for official stats to back me up, but I could not find any, needless to say it was horrible, and I am pretty sure it was just as horrible as I think it is.


3. Defense. Getting rid of Dunn and Griffey will certainly help in the future, but we still have issues defensively. We need to get better at shortstop, third base and first base. Personally, I would love to just get rid of Edwin Encarnacion, more on that later. I like Keppinger, but he is not good with the glove and since Derek Jeter is hard to come by I would prefer to have a stronger defensive presence out there than offensive, i.e. see Dave Concepcion. Didn't they win two World Series with that guy?


4. Catcher. We have not had a good catcher since maybe Joe Oliver. I know Joe was no Johnny Bench, but he was able to manage a pitching staff, much like Jason Varitek. Jason is way better, but Joe was still pretty good. Again, Johnny Bench is hard to come by, but I do want a catcher that can call a game. We have allot of young pitchers that could use a good veteran catcher to help guide them along, where is Crash Davis when you need him?


5. Homer Bailey. This kid has been given every opportunity to succeed and he has not been able to run with it. It is starting to look like it may be time to call it quits on this kid and give him a change of scenery, it may be best for both he and the organization. 2008 stats; 0-6 7.93 E.R.A. 18 Strikeouts, 17 walks, 59 hits. Wow.


6. Homer segways to my next point, the minor league pitching coaches. When was the last time the Reds developed a decent pitcher that they drafted? Tom Browning? He was drafted in 1982 by the way. Homer is a prime example of how our minor league coaches are failing; a kid with all the talent in the world and they can't seem to hone it at all.

Management.

1. Office management, C+. They did get rid of Griffey and Dunn and got more than a bucket of balls in return, they let the rookies play and earn the right to play, they dealt Hamilton and got a prime pitching prospect in Volquez. However, They still have about 8 left handed bats, which is very imbalanced and they have utility players starting full time out of position, i.e. Jerry Hairiston, Ryan Freel, Jeff Keppinger. Corey Patterson, 'nuff said.


2. Field management, C-. Probably gave too much of a chance to Homer to prove himself, especially since he was struggling in AAA as well. Why was Votto not starting over Hatteberg to start the season? Votto had a great spring and Hatteberg has been nothing but a serviceable first basemen his entire career. Why was Corey Patterson starting in center field? Are you really telling me that at the start of the season that Jay Bruce wasn't better than Corey Patterson? I understand having the veteran on the bench ready to go when Jay is slumping, but it was just a horrible idea to have him start, and for so long.

Some questionable moves and calls, but I have a better feeling than when I had to watch Dunn bat lead off. I think the upper management and Dusty and his crew are pretty stable and this organization needs some stability in order to grow. And now that locker room cancers are gone and well as defensive liabilities, I would like to see what they do this off season, last year proved that if they think that they really need it that they will go out and sign a big contract.

Possible trade?

I like to tinker, I like to see what would make sense. I had this thought about a month ago when I thought that the Ray's could not possibly keep it up, kudos to them they did! But I was thinking that if they were not able to pull off this miraculous turn around could the Reds go to them with Edwin and Bruce, or Edwin and Dickerson for Evan Longoria? it is not longer in the realm of possibility, but I thought it was a win/win. The Reds get that right handed bat they need and a defensive upgrade and the Rays get a speedy outfielder with a little pop and someone to replace Longoria at third.

Also, Pat "The Bat" Burrell is a free agent. his average is not great, but he is a legit power hitter and right handed, and his defense is way better than Dunn's was.

Speaking of....Here are free agents of interest.

1. Joe Crede Third base


2. Milton Bradly Outfield (He is crazy though)


3. Carl Crawford Outfield (Not really affordable?)


4. Raul Ibanez Outfield (Age factor?)


5. Scott Podsednik Outfield


6. Bobby Abreu Outfield (Money factor)


7. Pat Burrell Outfield


8. Jon Garland Pitcher


9. Jason Jennings Pitcher


10. Will Ohman Relief Pitcher


11. Mike Timlin Relief Pitcher


12. Dennys Reyes Relief Pitcher

So, with all that said here is to next year, a famous motto of Reds fans since 1990.

Que the circus music...

Every time I watch the Bengals play all I hear is circus music in the background. It is sad that the title "The Divine Comedy," has already been taken because it would fit an autobiography of the Bengals for the last 25 years. They make me laugh, cry, shout out in terror and anticipation, it really is like I am at a circus or something.

Let me start by saying that I was at the game this week. Much to my dismay I was forced to go with my wife and a friend of her from work. I was not upset at WHO I had to go with, but with the fact that I had to go and personally witness the bludgeoning that I knew would take place. The only good that I could see was that I got to see it live instead of having to squint to see a clear picture on that HD broadcast.

On our way to my wife's friend's(Jennifer) house, a friend that I had met briefly in working with her over three years ago, I was given a warning. "Please try not to use the 'F' word today." Jennifer is a devout catholic and I am the cursing king, this had potential for disaster. So before we got to her house I called Rick and we said the "F" word about 500 times in three minutes and I think I got my fill of it for the day. We arrive at Jennifer and her husband Jason's house after my wife passes by their house not once, but twice. Please keep in mind that she has been there before! I meet Jason, Jennifer's husband for the first time and he is wearing a Chad Johnson jersey, brave man in my opinion. We all climb in to Jason and Jennifer's Highlander and take off for the Bengals beat down. Side note, Highlanders are NICE! very roomy and nice ride, I am now jealous of Jason as his Highlander is much better than my Aveo, surprising I know.

Upon arriving at the game I get the first call from Mo..."Dude, Palmer is out." It was like Mo reached out from the phone and punched me in the stomach. Any hope of winning this game just sank like the Titanic. And in the back of my head the whole game I thought about Richie Brahms knee and how badly they down played it and he was out the whole season. I can see this coming. As we sit down and this news really sinks in Jennifer looks at me and says "You need to say that Jennifer says, they will lose." it was like she was some sort of prophet! Jennifer Mohamed, I like it.

Jason and I started doing some over/unders and here is what we came up with. Over/under for Levi's sack watch was at 2 1/2, over/under for special teams blunders was also at 2 1/2, over/under for Fitzpatrick throwing an interception was at 2. Levi did not cover, but I think that was due more to Fitzpatrick being able to scramble than Levi improving. Levi did at least have one false start again keeping his blunder streak alive. Special teams was close to covering, they gave up a big kick return to start the second half and then later in the game a shitty kick off gave them great field position. Thankfully Ryan Bailed me out and threw three picks! Well done backup QB.

Points of interest.

1. The Bengals don't feel like they have to play defense until they are inside the 20. That is great that they DO eventually feel urgency, but, and I am no mathematician, but 0 points is better that 3. Why not stop them earlier and force a punt instead of a field goal? They will let a team nickle and dime them to death, but they sure as shit lock it down in the red zone, well that is until they don't care anymore and they know the game is over, i.e see the fought quarter.


2. David Jones was covering Braylon Edwards. Really? Again with this, did I not just talk about how he was covering Plaxico Burress for over half the game last week? Why was Leon Hall not his shadow for the entire game? I don't care where Braylon was on the field Leon should have been right there with him.


3. Run, run, pass. Bob Bratkowski is a genius. No one will expect him to be so dumb that he runs the same damn play week after week in the same sequence. By the way let me make this real easy for the rest of the NFL. If T.J. goes in motion and stops behind the tackle, they are running the ball, right there. Christ, I think Radio knew that play was coming.


4. I hate to keep going there, but how about that play clock management huh? Before the half we burn a timeout, go to no huddle for ONE play and then call another timeout. WTF is that?!? Then in the second half we had used all of our timeouts by 11:06 left in the game. Gee, I hope we won't need those at the end of the game or anything.


5. The Bengals defense was 2/8, or 25%, for those scoring at home, on stopping the Browns on 3rd and short. Not a good percentage. One of those 3rd and short we had a turn over that was called back because of a penalty, more on that later.


6. Chad Johnson a.k.a. Chad Ocho Cinco Scored his first, and maybe his only touchdown, of the year, and there was no obscene celebration. I was actually disappointed it might have been the only thing worth watching at that game.


7. Why is Keith Rivers coming off the field every third down. He is probably the best linebacker we have and he is only play two downs?


8. Ryan Fitzpatrick is Chad Pennington that can run. I don't think Fitz completed a pass over 10 yards that was to a Bengal receiver. But, hey he sure can scramble!

Play of the game.

Jason pointed out that this might have been the most creative way yet to get a first down. I look at it as two teams being so horrible that they out bad luck each other. Ryan Fitzpatrick, in scrambling for his life, throw another gorgeous interception on 3rd down only to have to Browns fumble it back to the Bengals on the return. One of the most discombobulated plays I have ever witnessed live.

Prophetic moment of the game.

All due respect to Jennifer and her vision of the Bengals losing, I think that everyone was already thinking that. I, however, saw the touchdown that broke the Bengals back coming several play away. When the David Jones managed to pick off a ball on 3rd and short, but it was promptly called back because of a neutral zone infraction and gave the Browns a first down in the process I just knew that the Brows would turn that second chance into a score. Better yet, I knew the Bengals would give up and let the Browns waltz in the end zone. And they did. Bryalon Edwards like three plays later in the end zone stomping all over Bengals fans hearts.

Side Notes.

I was bored enough at one point that I was studying the cheerleader routines. NOT the cheerleaders mind you, my wife is is more attractive and has a way better personality than probably all of them. I noticed that all of their routines were repetition of two or three. I used to wonder how they remembered all that crap, then on Sunday it became pretty clear that if you can count to three you were golden. I am sure it is still complex for some of them.

The flag football game that they had at halftime was a better show than the actual game. There were trick play, great catches, emotion, passion, basically all the things that the Bengals/Browns game lacked!

The row in front of us was playing musical chairs the entire game. The group in front of us and another group 5 rows down and one section over kept switching seats all damn game. I mean it is not like one section was better than the other, I understand that several of these individuals might have needed the exercise, but did they have to keep getting up and down right in front of me?

I found it interesting that people were talking about how Romeo Cernel's job was on the line at the start of this game, but Marvin Lewis was not. Interesting may not be the word, sad and angry may be more appropriate.

The best part of the day was Jennifer proving my point about the West side being the most confusing place on Earth. Jennifer, a west sider for life, tried to tell me that it is not that confusing, but she was not able to get us home taking state route 50. I think even Jason silently agreed with me that the west side was laid out by a drunk city planner. I mean if we would have gone about three more miles on 50 I am sure we would have been in Indiana. us getting home was like the Bengals offense, we were going somewhere and getting nowhere! To Jennifer's credit we did eventually get home, but it was after the vulchers had been circling the car for what seemed like hours.

To all of those that were concerned, curse watch 2008 was not too bad. I think I only dropped the "F" bomb like three times and no one seemed to be too offended. Jason and Jennifer were very cool and seemed to tolerate me quite well, more on them later.

Game Balls.

Again the Bengals made it tough, but I managed to find a few positives about the game.

1. Chinedum Ndukwe. Interception, blitzing, made tackles. They guy played with fire and heart.


2. Keith Rivers. On the downs he actually played he was always around the ball.


3. Jason and Jennifer. For tolerating me and my antics all day, kudos to you guys.


4. The Highlander. Jason's car rocks and deserves some credit. plus after the getting home confusion it was nice to know that I would die in a nice vehicle as apposed to my Aveo.


5. The Nachos. They were crisp, and fresh, they were not three weeks old that had been left out in the rain. The cheese had some spice, but not too much that made my throat burn. The only issue I had was that most of the chips looked like they were sat on by the 300 pound cupcake sitting in front of me. Well he was sitting there half the time anyway. Chip crums are not optimal for dipping in cheese. Overall = B-.

After this game I felt like the Bengals were an old dog that you love, but you know what you have to do. You watch every day as that dog that you have come to love over the years, is shitty all over the floor, snapping at relatives, dragging his hind legs through the kitchen. It is sad, but you know it is time to put him down. The Bengals need to be put down, it will not get any better this year and especially if Palmer is out for the rest of the years like many are thinking he will be.

Hello number 1 draft pick. I know it is like looking at puppies before the dog is gone, but it is the only thing that keeps me even slightly positive. Well that and the dream for 0-16 continues. St.Louis, Detroit, and Houston are all still in the running as well, but I am confident that the Bengals who have to play Dallas, Shitsburg and the Brett Farve led Jets coming up, can outlast all of the competition.

Go Bungles!

All Time Rants.

If anyone knows me I can go on quite a rant when needed, or not needed! If you don't know me, you should I am cool and my rants are generally funny. But in listening to Lance McAllister on 1530 the Homer today, it inspired me to post a blog about some of the all time great rants and or fits of our time. For today marks the 2 year anniversary of Mike Valenti's rant after Michigan State blew a 16 point lead to Notre Dame in the fourth quarter.

So, without further ado here is a list of the top 15 best rants/fits that I could remember.

1. Bobby Knight - The best of
2. Dennis Green - Crown their ass
3. Jim Mora - Playoffs?!
4. Phill Wellman - Manager loses it
5. Joe Mikulik - Over reaction
6. John McLaren - Reaction to Seattle's shitty season
7. Lou Pinella - Take any
8. Brett Meyers - Boom outta here
9. Allen Iverson - What are we talking about, Practice?
10. Mike Tyson - Dude is crazy
    
11. Jim Everet - Tackles Jim Rome
    
12. Kevin Borseth - Michigan Basketball Loss
13. John Cheaney - Threatens a white guy, weird
14. Mike Gundy - Sticks up for player
15. Hal McRae - Loses it

My favorite remains Bobby Knight, specifically when he talks about the "game face." I will laugh until I pee myself almost every time I watch it.

Smallville.

I am a super hero guy. I read comic books, I watch the Marvel/D.C. movies, and I enjoy most of them. Deadpool is my favorite comic book "hero," but mainstream I am a Batman guy. And for the record, I was a Batman guy long before "The Dark Knight." In any case, my friend Tony suggested that I try watching "Smallville." He has all the seasons on DVD, so I borrowed season one and just finished it yesterday.

Quick Recap

"Smallville," is the account of Clark Kent in high school. What life was like as his powers were developing, friends coming into and out of his life, blah blah blah. It seems like the type of show you would watch after school on the WB. Think "Dawson's Creek," but with super powers.

Issues

Issue number one is the before mentioned high school theme. I am close to 30, so it is tough to relate to high schoolers and their world. I think that if my wife would have given it more of a chance she might have liked it. She loves high school shows, such as "Gossip Girl," which is one of her new favorite shows. Incidentally, she just found out that we do not get the channel that carries both "Smallville," and "Gossip Girl," on Dish. She might soon be demanding a switch to Direct TV, we will NEVER go back to Cable TV, take that Time Warner!

Issue number two is the writing for the show. Every episode with the exception of about three were just recycled garbage from the first episode. Some kid in Smallville, normally a weirdo, has an accident involving leftover meteor rocks and now has super powers that only Clark can fight off. I know there needs to be suspended belief for these shows, so, I won't touch the fact that every time something happens Clark is in the middle of it, in a small town....don't these people ask questions, but I said I wouldn't touch it. Predictable, boring, uninspired and dumb. Are they assuming that only morons watch the show and could not comprehend a serious plot twist?

Issue number three is continuity. Watching this show is like watching "Titanic." You know the ship is going to sink, what is the hell is the point? "Smallville" is very similar, Clark's two best friends are never heard of again and his "love" interest is mentioned, but you know he goes to Metropolis and falls for Lois Lane, not Lana Lang. So all the story that they build around these 4 characters are basically irrelevant to the future of Clark/Superman. This is also what I like to refer to as the "Barbara Hambry Effect." 'Ol Barb is an author who has written two Star Wars books, and they are the most godawful crap I have ever read, it is blasphemy. I am a big Star Wars guy, so her books are especially disturbing to me. Her two books develop characters and story lines that are never again mentioned in ANY of the other Star Wars books.

Issue number four is the end of season one. Wow, do they ever hold their fans hostage. I know you tend to build up and leave maybe a little bit of a cliff hanger for the next season, but nothing on this scale. There are at least four different major events that are going on, that get no resolution. I was more pissed than excited about seeing the first episode of season 2. I cannot remember a show in recent memory that has had that much of a cliff hanger from their first season to the next. In "Heroes," there was a cliff hanger or two, but there was also resolution. It built up all season to saving the cheerleader and the city blowing up, and it resolved those two. there was no building, since it was recycled stories about every week, and there was no real resolution.

Issue five, more of a pet peeve really. The Ross/Rachel factor. It is a staple in any show written now a days, you have to have that awkward, will they/won't they, between two of the stars in the show. And because I got so sick of the Rachel/Ross drama, I find myself tuning out any show that starts to build that right away. the worst part is, that it's really irrelevant, as I mentioned before, since we all already know that Clark goes to Metropolis and falls for Lois Lane.

The Good

The best part about the show, and the only compelling story line is that between Lex Luthor and Clark. You know that Superman and Lex Luthor end up being bitter rivals, but in "Smallville," they are best friends, with some slight awkwardness. The other part about this that I find interesting is that in the movies and comics, Lex never knows that Clark and Superman are the same, he just hates Superman. However, in "Smallville," Lex is pressing to see if Clark is indeed blessed with special powers after Clark rescued him from drowning in his car. I might tune in just to see how this plays out. How do they go from Philo and Clyde to Yanks and Sox?

Over all I would give this about a 4 out of 10. Tony keeps telling me that it gets better after the first season, but I am on the fence as to weather or not I want to give it the time to evolve. I might try the second season to say that i gave it a fair shot, but at this point I am not sold.

Re-inventing the loss....

It would seem that every week the Bengals find a new, creative way to lose, but still manage to do all the other little things wrong in the process. Take Sunday's loss as an example, the offense fought and battled hard just to let the defense blow coverages and miss gaps. With less than 3 minutes in the game the offense drives down field again and amazingly does the same thing that they did before halftime last week. They have a timeout available and they could have spiked the ball. Had they done either of those, they would have had enough time to at least run one play and still have time for a field goal. Hell, they could have run their famous draw play and still call the timeout to kick the game tying field goal.

My big issues with all this is, besides the obvious clock management issues I have been harping on is that they had a chance to win the game and instead settled for the field goal and the tie. They play not to lose. In a game where the defense struggled to really stop the Giants, Marvin was content in going into overtime and possibly giving the Giants the ball back, which is exactly what happened. And hey, what do you know the Bengals lost. Mo tried to convince me that it was Palmer's fault that the ball was not spiked, but I know it was Marvin, Palmer has a head set in his helmet and was told to get up to the line and run a play.

Special teams was again pitiful. They again gave up at least to big returns to give the Giants good field position. One was a punt return and the other was a kick return. It is amazing week after week there are just some things that you can count on from this team; bad play clock management, horrible special teams coverage, Palmer not having enough time to throw, and the opposing quarterback having all day to throw.

Pet peeves and annoyances.

They are not the New York Giants, or the New York Jets for that matter. They play in New Jersey. If I am New Jersey I am pissed, just like Kentucky should be pissed that we call it the Cincinnati airport, it is in Kentucky! lets face it New Jersey does not have much to be proud of, but they have two football teams that call their state home and they cannot even claim them. New York is like and older brother that threatens to beat up New Jersey if it tells anyone that they play there. Yet another reason I hate New York, damn bullies. I am waiting for the day that New Jersey just doesn't exist anymore, New York just quietly takes them over and no one notices or cares. Too bad we can't do that to Canada.

I know I said something about this before, but can we please get some "analysts" that know anything about the Bengals? Listening to the broadcast again this week was painful, they were ripping the Bengals for most of the game and even when the Bengals looked like they might actually win they sounded so uninspired and almost defeated when talking about the possibility. It was like they were rooting for the Giants. Couple that with the fact that they called everyone on the team Chad. "Chad Perry caring the ball for a 3 yard gain," "Chad Palmer drops back to pass," swear to god that happened twice.

Why do the Bengals insist on doing a quick snap and kneeling when the defense is offsides? I know that it works for the most part, but it is a free play, even if they turn the ball over they would get it back because of the penalty. Why not take a shot and run the play and see what happens? I mention this because it almost did cause a fumble and there was no flag. The defense was clearly offsides and Ghiaciuc snapped the ball to Palmer quickly and Palmer was not even there, he was busy changing the play, probably because he saw the blitz coming. There was no flag and luckily Palmer was able to recover the ball, but that is exactly why they need to just run the play and not worry about the offsides.

Why was David Jones covering Plaxico Burriss for half the game? I know Jonathan Joseph was out, but shouldn't our number one draft pick at corner in Leon Hall be covering their best receiver, one of the best receivers in the league? Not David Jones the wavier wire pick up out of Wingate College. I guess it really didn't matter too much since the Giants did not exploit it that much, but I found that to be odd and had potential to be dangerous, the Bengals were playing with fire for sure.

While the offense looked better, still they need to remember how to score a touchdown in the red zone. Twice had a chance in the red zone and had to settle for field goals, can't leave points on the field against the defending Super Bowl champions.

Third and twenty five and they run a draw, enough said there.

Game Disappointments.

Levi Jones. He gave up three sacks and had a false start penalty on third down. In 2005 this guy was a pro bowl alternate, he was a first round draft choice, he is covering Carson's blind side. I sure hope Collins is ready to go soon because I can not take much more of Levi's bullshit.

Chad Johnson. Still not getting separation and still not catching the ball. Thrown to 4 times and had one catch, unacceptable. The worst part is that he is going to start to blame coaches and Palmer for his lack of effort and will probably blow up what little team chemistry this team has.

Marvin Lewis, see above. I will stand by if he manages 4 wins he will save his job. I don't know why, but he will. If he goes 0-8 he might get fired....might. But it would take him only winning 3 games before Mike would consider firing him. Keep in mind that Mike would have to eat money on Marvin's contract if he fired him and we all know how Mike is with money.

Game Balls.

Chris Perry. Or Chad Perry depending on who you believe. The second half was tough, blocking got worse as the game went on, conditioning issue? Plus the Bengals were forced to throw the ball more often. But in the first half Chris Perry made me believe finally that he might not have been a total waste of a pick. he ran to the hole, he made cuts, he scampered for a 20+ yard run and a touchdown.

Domato Pecko. Looked good and strong. Got penetration against the run and seemed to always be around the ball. Plus Dan Deirdorf had some sort of man crush on his hair.

Antonio Chapman. Finally emerging as a good number three receiver and decent punt returner, nothing like getting value out of an investment made three years ago. Funny I said number three receiver, Palmer threw to him more than Chad and he caught every ball thrown his way. Six receptions for 70 yards. Chad had a total of 3 for less than 30.

T.J. Houshmanzadeh. Twelve catches for 146 and a touchdown. Finally Palmer has his go-to-guy back. That and I saw him make a monster block earlier in the game.

Carson Palmer. 69% completion percentage, no interceptions, first touchdown of the year, 286 yards and a 98.9 passer rating. And he led them down field with under 3 minutes to play and other than the play clock blunder had them in position to win. Finally a Carson Palmer like game.

Quote of the game.

"Fly fat ass fly"

That was Me in reference to Brandon Jacobs sudo jump at the goal line to score the touchdown. I think the Bengals were just as surprised as I was since they did not stack anyone over the top to stop him.

Anymore when I watch this team, even of days that they do play acceptable football, like this past Sunday they will find a way to lose. Maybe this bodes well for the 0-16 dream, but that is what you get with Marvin Lewis at the helm.

Side Note.

Poor Tony. While my friend did close on a house on Friday, which is a joyous event and I am very happy for him. He, however, lost several other more important things. One; I beat him in the semi-finals in our keeper baseball fantasy league and moved on to defend my title as lord and ruler of fantasy baseball. Two; I beat him in our fantasy football keeper league to move to 3-0. Lastly; I got to watch the Dolphins, lead by none other than Chad Pennington, beat his beloved Patriots, led by his latest boyfriend Matt Castle. This is really funny because a week ago I tried to explain to him that Matt Castle was nothing and that I would rather have Chad Pennington with a bad, neh, non-existent shoulder leading my team. Chad has played in the NFL, started in the NFL and in the same division. He knows defenses, can make reads, and most importantly he can still hand off to Ronnie Brown!

Douche bag of the week.

Hello all faithful readers, all two of you! Starting a new weekly update, douche bag of the week. Judging by all the douche-baggery that goes on in this world I suspect that it will be a rather easy piece of writing.

The nominees this week are; DeSaun Jackson, Ed Hochuli, and Josh Howard. One is a moron rookie receiver that has not quite learned the art of the end zone celebration. I mean don't you have to score BEFORE you celebrate? The funny part is that this guy is a repeat offender, here and here. You would have thought that he would have learned his lesson the first time. This guy is a rookie, I am sure he will make it back to my D-bag of the week column, he just can't help himself. I look forward to this guy doing more stupid shit!

The second is a referee that cost a division rival a game because of a bad call. Isn't that what instant reply is for? I know it is part the game, but Ref's should never decide the outcome of a game. And not only did he decide the outcome of the game, but it was a very important division rival and might have playoff implications. What happens if the Chargers don't make the playoffs because of their division record? Tim Donaghy is calling he wants to know if you want to hang out and start a casino or something?

And last but not least, is one of many spoiled NBA stars that makes too much money to put a ball in a hoop. He is also the clear cut winner this week. Again a repeat offender, in the sense that this guy can't keep his mouth shut and just has to say something more stupid time after time. But the latest garbage to come out of this mans mouth is really outstanding.
"The Star Spangled Banner’s going on right now and I don’t celebrate that (expletive). I’m black."
Seriously? That is freaking ridiculous. You have got to be a serious bag of douche if you bad mouth the national anthem of the country the over pays you to play a sport. He is black and I am white and he will make more money than I can ever dream of. There are soldiers that defend the right for this moron to say stupid shit like that with their lives. So I guess that allows him to say it, but it makes me sad and angry that he lives such a spoiled life and demands to be such a douche bag.

Congratulations to Josh Howard the weed smoking loud mouth, he is this weeks easy winner of douche bag of the week. Some one had to pick up where Alan Iverson left off.

Garbage update

We suffered another minor defeat this past Thursday with out garbage men. There were several random pieces of wood and toe strip from the house renovation. I would say that it is too heavy, but Carson and Housh (dogs) managed to drag pieces all over the yard, so can it really be that bad?

The worst part is that I think our garbage men have an new ally in the war, the city of Sharonville. We used to have all this wood piled against the house to use for fires at night in the spring and fall, but last week we got a letter from Sharonville saying we were in violation of some obscure code written 200 years ago and buried in the City ordinance.

It is my assumption that the some one at Rumpke tripped over my blog and was looking for anything that they could exact their revenge on me. They found this law, after what I imagine to be countless hours of reading, just to spite me. Then they anonymously tipped the city of Sharonville, who would be more than happy to fine my ass to this violation and now they are in cahoots.

So the war wages on Hitler(Rumpke) and Tojo(city of Sharonville) vs. Eisenhower(Jesy) and Patton(me). A showdown of epic proportions. By the way, all the wood is still out there by the curb, and it will remain there for at least a week. After said week I will be delivering it to Rumpke myself. i will just take it there and leave it by their sign on 27.

Take that Rumpke.

I was very excited that I could use the word cahoots in the blog post!

Fun fact.

I was filling my break at work with some research and came across a fascinating article. On Espn's page 2, Thomas Neuman wrote an article on the rankings of the 32 NFL teams since the 1970 merger of the AFL and the NFL.





The only part of their "scoring system" that I do not like is the crushing defeats. Unless it is losing a key player in a key moment, like when the Bengals lost Palmer in their lone playoff appearance in 20 years, then it should not count. Of course there are plenty of those, but I don't think "The Drive," really effected Cleveland the next year. What happened with Palmer I think continues to effect this franchise, among many other things, but we have not been the same since then really.





But the most interesting part was that the Steelers rank number 2. They are the second best franchise in the NFL since 1970. Sadly I can't say that I disagree. Six Super Bowl appearances and five wins. That should say enough, but let's consider that in that time they have had only two coaching changes in that time as well and only one draft bust.





Now the Bengals in comparison are 24th on the list. They have had 8 coaching changes and 4 draft busts. No one had more draft busts than the Bengals and only a couple had more coaching changes. And funny enough, where does all of this point? Mike Brown.





The Steelers have always been owned by the Rooney's and the Bengals have always been run by the Browns. The difference is that The Rooney's, have been able to continue to dominate as it has been past down. When ownership was passed from Paul to Mike upon Paul's passing a giant, dark cloud of idiocy has followed Mike wherever he has gone.





Please God deliver us from this moron of an owner, I don't normally involve God, but where else can I turn? I would like to see a list 20 years from now where from the year 2000 to 2030 where the Bengals were in the top 15? Maybe too much to ask, but I want to be able to wear my Bengals gear in public again sometime soon.

This link was sent to me today, from my friend Tony, and I had to add it. Enjoy!

Quick hit.

After taking time to digest the shoot out that was the Monday night game between Dallas and Phily, it makes me even more depressed to be a Bengals fan. Both of those teams played with passion and purpose. Both teams wanted to win, and you could see every time the offense took the field. Confidence, swagger, determination; all words that I would never use to describe the Bengals this year. Instead I would use depleted, sullen, and beat down.

There was a time when I counted to 10 and McNabb still had not throw the ball and there was no one around him. His line blocked, and continued to block until the whistle was blown. I think the Bengals line, when it does block, will do it for 3-4 seconds at most and then figures that Carson should have gotten rid of the ball by now and quits. Couple that with the fact that our receivers are wearing defenders like a blanket in the middle of winter and well, you have a recipe for disaster. And it is not like Dallas' defense is a joke, that is a decent defense.

By the way, we get to play both of those teams. Oh and to scare you a little more, we get to play the defending Super Bowl champions on Sunday. This is a team that doesn't look to have lost a step even though they lost their two best defenders from last year in Micheal Strahan and Osi Umenyiora. They just finished with the dismantling of St. Louis last week to the tune of, 41-13. Of course St. Louis might be one of only about three teams that are worse than the Bengals, but I can not imagine we will score 13 against that defense. I mean after two games we have ONE offensive touchdown. ONE.

So to all those drinking the kool-aid out there, and there can't be more than 7 of you left, we will not win on Sunday. We might not win all year.

I wish I could start a poll on my blog, my question would be: How long till Marvin is fired. If the team is 0-8 I think there is a good chance that he is gone, but not before that. Mike has had this guys back, even after his first losing season last year. If the team manages to squeak out 4 wins, Marvin might have saved his job. I would HOPE not, but we are dealing with Mike Brown. But less than 4 and I think he is gone, and if he goes 0-16 he is definitely out, of course that is if he makes it past 0-8 which is where I think Mike draws the line.

And let me be the first to say, Peace out Marvin.

Lack of focus....

Today's blog will have a theme. In celebration of the Bengals running their record to an impressive 0-2 we will talk about the lack of focus on this team. I mean it is disgusting to watch this team make the mistakes they do, these guys are professionals? We pay them millions of dollars to not pay attention for a couple hours?

So again the game was brought to you in HD, or high doody. Looking back I find this funny since the theme this week is the lack of focus. As I was watching the game I was squinting the entire time trying to figure out who was on the field. I am afraid that I will have to start watching my TV from 3 blocks away using a telescope just to see it clearly. Also just a note for all you cable users out there, you do have one advantage over us satellite users. Every time my power would kick out of course so would satellite and it would take it forever for it to find the the correct coordinates and come back online. Are you serious? It is not like I am trying to get coordinates for a missile strike on Canada or anything, I just want to watch TV damnit.

I am not going to delve too deep into the game itself for a couple reasons. One; it is sad and depressing and I don't want my readers to have to turn to Paxcil or Prozac to get through my blogs. Two; I cant talk to in depth about a game that I hardly saw. I mean I saw enough, but due to Hurricane Ike my power kept blinking out and after about two and a half quarters we officially lost all power at the house. I joked with my wife that it was a sign of the Apocalypse and she actually start to freak out a little bit!

Game Notes

After the first series, of which the Bengals went 3 and out, as usual this year. The boo's birds were out loud and proud. Hell the only part of that game that was truly in HD might have been the boo's, it was so loud that I you could have walked two blocks up the street and heard the boo's.

Thank god the Titans could not stay on sides, that was the only way the Bengals could move the ball down field. Five penalties for 25 yards on Tennessee, at least four of those were offsides and they tended to give the Bengals a first down each time. Of course, the Bengals had five penalties for 35 yards, hmmmmm, lack of focus maybe? They did manage to avoid at least one delay of game penalty though by burning a time out because no one for the Bengals knows how to read a play clock still. You would think that after I mentioned this last week that one of them would have read this and learned how to tell time! Again this points to lack of focus and Marvin's magical play clock plundering. Seriously this has been going on for years now. Then, as time is expiring, in the first half and Palmer is literally hobbling to the line to get a play off they do not use a timeout. Instead we all had to watch Palmer painfully get to the line and call an audible and then watch as time expired and the Bengals did not score and had a timeout that they could have used. Maybe Marvin was surprised that they had a timeout left, normally they have to use them all in the first few series to keep from the play clock expiring. Or maybe they had all the confidence that Dede Dorsey could scramble and dance his way for 40+ plus yard to the end zone. Seriously? This isn't dancing with the stars and he is no Jason Taylor! So a quick recap, They use time outs when they shouldn't have to and don't use timeouts when they need to. That point to Marvin and his .......oh yeah lack of focus.

Also to point to the lack of focus theme, did the defense not look pretty good for the first two series? But then all the sudden they gave up a huge play and then realized that again this week the offense was not going to help them and just kind of gave up. Lack of focus and the coach has lost the team.

Don't forget special teams. Every game the Bengals will, like clockwork, give up either a huge return off a punt or kick off or both. Can we have some consistent coverage please?!

I mean lets face it, Mrs Garrett ran a tighter ship at Eastland school. I want to hear Marvin on the side lines screaming "Girls, girls, girlssssss" every time they screw something up!

Pet peeve. This has also been a theme for several years 3rd and 13 we throw the ball 10 yards. 3rd and 10 we will throw it 8 yards. 3rd and 3 we will run a draw. I don't work for NASA, but if it is 3rd and 10 isn't it a good idea to get all 10 of those yards? This isn't Euchre, you can't count on your partner for one trick, or in this case count on your receiver for two extra yards. Especially this year it seems like out receivers are getting no separation at all, good thing they showed up for those voluntary camps, oh wait they didn't, hmmmmm interesting.

Random Quote

"No player from the Bengal's Defense has ever been to the pro-bowl" That was Don Cricky, who just randomly blurted that out in the middle of the game. I swear it was not referencing anything, nor did either of them elaborate on the comment. It was like he was on a first date and was just saying anything to keep conversation going. The 'ol "saying anything is better than awkward silence," routine. I know the Bengals suck and no one wants to cover them, but can we get some people in there that shows a little bit of intelligence about the team and might care just a little bit? Maybe not though, Marvin and Mike, or M&M as I will call them, don't care, why should the networks?

Game balls

Again it was a tough call this week. Very tough to say anything nice about the game I kind of got to watch. Chris Perry. The "kid" ran with purpose and give him a line that would block and he might be even better. It is very refreshing to see a running back that can cut and hit holes running. Antwan Odom. He was getting pressure on Collins when he was blocked by one person. The more I see him play and the healthier he gets the better he looks. Ben Utech. I know some of you may find this pick as a surprise since he got hurt on the first play of the game, but that is exactly why I picked him. Because of getting hurt, he did not have to participate in this massacre. But the best player of the field for the Bengals was the Titans defensive line that kept jumping off sides. My only guess is that they all had Mexican for dinner the night before, because they had seven sacks against a better team last week, they could have got to Palmer if they were sleep walking.

Judging by the Mo Meter this game had to have been pretty horrible, my phone was blowing up all day.

Another week, another loss, but they are keeping the dream of 0-16 alive. Godspeed Bengals, it will be a tough quest, but please don't let me down. Your special combination of a terrible owner, an inept coach, and uninspired players has me believing now, more than ever, that the dream could become a reality. The pieces are there.